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How To Be Right: The Art of Being Persuasively Correct, by Greg Gutfeld
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About the Author
Greg Gutfeld is a cohost of the hit show The Five and the host of The Greg Gutfeld Show on the Fox News Channel. He is the author of The Bible of Unspeakable Truths and the New York Times bestsellers The Joy of Hate and Not Cool. He contributes regularly to Breitbart.com.
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*** 1 ***Why We’re Evil How to Explain Your Conservative Stance, When You’re Inevitably AttackedThis is the chapter you should read now. Especially if you’ve read the preceding sixteen pages.As you know, this book is about being persuasively right, but before you can be persuasively right you must be persuasive, above all, about being Right. Because if you can’t explain why you . . . are you . . . then you’re lost. You might as well pack up and join the circus. (Address: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Just look for the big tent and the guy in the clown suit.)You will be asked why you’re a conservative or a libertarian more often than Tom Cruise is asked why he’s in Scientology. You need to explain yourself in the clearest manner possible. (I’m tired of saying conservative and libertarian, so from here on in, we’re just gonna say “Right.” Right? Okay. Good.)Here is the simple answer to why you are Right: It is a more practical, generous, and compassionate way to live.Now, I’m not saying liberals are impractical, selfish, or lacking in compassion. I could say that, but I won’t. Because it helps no one. I believe—-and have evidence—-that as a member of the right, you can achieve better results in bringing happiness and clarity to this ball of fury we call the world.Who doesn’t want that?Once you have stated your reason for your belief system—-and the laughter subsides—-you now have to prove that in fact your belief system is the correct path to achieve that goal.So, why do righties accomplish these goals in a more practical, compassionate manner?Very simply: conservatism, enacted correctly, encompasses liberalism. The act of conserving in fact acts as the back door to the liberal heart.Conservatism is the two trees that support the hammock of liberalism.A liberal heart can be controlled only by the impulses of a right--wing brain.The left can never lead, it can only pull.And please note: this relationship cannot be done in reverse. Liberalism cannot contain conservatism. Here are the reasons why.Conservatism is a set of free market beliefs that helps create wealth—-a mass of stuff that then gets shared by those who cannot create it. Conservatism is the baker who bakes the cake that gets paid for by the parents but gets eaten by the kids (the cake, not the baker).Translation: for a liberal to “get” the assistance he desires to pay for programs and education, that wealth must be created by people who cannot afford to think liberally. The engine that creates that wealth is fundamentally Right. The principles of liberalism have no place in such matters. In fact, even in predominantly liberal bastions like the film industry and academia, profit still rules. Actors and professors still ask for more, not less, for their work. All films have budgets. All colleges have tuitions. We’re all evil right--wingers on payday. And when we’re not? See: “Soviet Union—-falling of.”You do not want a liberal accountant. You do not want a liberal financial advisor. You do not even want a liberal babysitter. In fact, especially you do not want a liberal babysitter (even liberals will rarely hire these!). In arenas where safety and preservation are paramount, and vital to your future—-liberalism is never the option. When there is disease, or war, there is no liberal response.The fluffiness of liberal utopianism fails in the realm of foreign policy. Affirmative action, social programs, welfare—-such inclinations do not win wars. Conservatism, folks, is where the rubber hits the road.Liberalism is a hobby when things are going good. Liberalism is putting a puzzle together on a rainy day. It does nothing about the rain. Here’s how it works: ProblemLiberal solutionConservative solutionFloodsBlaming global warmingFilling sandbagsPovertyGiving your money to othersEarning money so you can helpDiseaseGiving sympathyHealingInjusticeGiving sympathyReading the lawAgingPlastic surgeryFamily careEducationMoneyBetter teachers/administratorsLiberalism can exist only in periods of calm. In a country as vast in wealth and innovation as ours, liberalism can latch on like a conservative’s groupie—-a member of an entourage that finds a place to sleep in a movie star’s sprawling mansion, largely unnoticed. As our country continues to invent amazing things that make lives easier, and longer, we can afford to shovel money into pointless projects, simply because we can. An entire political philosophy exists, and its assortment of useless overpaid, perk--grifting bureaucrats owes its entire existence to the benevolence of the free market and the competitive motivations unleashed by capitalism. Winning a few big wars also helps (shooting predators allows commerce to continue).In short, conservatism doesn’t compete with liberalism, it sustains it. Without conservatism, there is no liberalism. Win in Three1. Liberalism is a hobby when things are going good. Liberalism is putting a puzzle together on a rainy day.2. Conservatism is piling the sandbags when the rain turns to hurricanes.3. Liberalism can exist only in periods of calm.Liberalism needs conservatism to survive; but conservatism does not need liberalism to thrive. Without liberalism, conservatism thrives, beautifully. However, liberalism is necessary as a reminder that you don’t need to think about terror and Ebola all the time. Once in a while you need to enjoy yourself a little.A Math Problem: Solving for BToday, most young liberals think A = C. Not A + B = C. They don’t know what B is. B is for Business.And we know business. We know that while a minimum--wage hike sounds good, we understand its consequences. That if you have a pie of eight slices for eight people, and you make the slices larger, then you have fewer slices, for fewer people. Suddenly a pie with eight slices becomes a pie with six slices. Two people get pink slips instead of pie. (Note: a pie slice is an analogy for job, in case Michael Moore is reading this, and thinks I’m actually talking about a real pie.)So, for liberals to get their minimum--wage hike, first we need conservatives to build businesses, to think like businessmen, to sacrifice their own salaries to pay others; to sleep on floors in order to break even.Then when they make a profit, and things are going great—-when the calm sets in—-liberalism can appear and say, “How dare you not pay these people a living wage?” Once the tables are full of diners, and bills are being paid, and you’re thinking about opening a second joint—-liberalism arrives to demand its cut. Really, it’s a protection racket. Sort of like the Gambino family, but without loyalty, job prospects, and track suits.You think I’m slinging bull droppings? There is science behind these simple facts.Much study has been done on the conservative and liberal minds. The research is pretty clear: The right tends to be averse to risk, more worried or concerned about external threats like terror and disease. Conservatives—-get this—-tend to be conservative. They are less likely to play with fire, in just about every sense: financially, artistically, sexually. (Libertarians are inclined to legalize matches for all.) They are cautious in changing traditions (sometimes to a fault), which is why they cling bitterly to their guns, their religion, and that crazy Constitution they like so much—-as a brilliant teenager once put it.You may think there is one flaw in this theory—-if the right are all about future threats, how come they aren’t leading the charge against global warming? It’s because we think, quite accurately and based on predictions from the past, that the threat is exaggerated. However, it’s also because we righties target what we can fix, and accept what we cannot. At least with ISIS we know what the threat is, and that it’s slightly worse than a missing polar bear.Liberals are generally more outgoing, more risk--loving, more likely to try new stuff. They are open to new ideas, and less likely to feel threatened by unfamiliar things. This is why, in general, they seem to have more fun. They are more likely to try drugs, for example (which is fine, as long as they don’t end up throwing up in my toaster). In short, liberals are pretty liberal—-about their own security, their own adventures, their own willingness to experiment. They aren’t looking for commies under their beds (perhaps because they’re in the bathtub). Libs take risks that the risk--averse usually pay for, over and over. Which explains the necessity for conservatism. We are the clean-up crew.Libs may seem to have more fun (and many do), but whether they’re happier is an open question. Temporary happiness doesn’t translate into long--term satisfaction. The angriest people I’ve encountered in my life have been liberals (usually after I’ve urinated on their sandals; don’t ever do this to David Brooks—-he makes the strangest sound!).The difference between conservatives and liberals explains why one is more effective than the other in securing long--term satisfaction. One lives for now; the other for later. One lives for the desire to be liked; the other lives for the love of those they hold dear. The liberal son survives off the conservative pop.If a conservative is risk--averse, he is more likely to save money. He is more likely to protect his investments. He is more likely to protect property, and advocate for rule of law and preservation of individual protections, as well as agreed--upon authority (like, say, the role of the police and National Guard). He doesn’t create a context that excuses looting.These folks are the people—-Asian, Arab, black—-who start businesses routinely torched in cities where the leftist reflex endorses such action as a response to “injustice.”Of course, conservatives aren’t risk--averse in everything. It’s conservatives who have risked much to build businesses. That risk, however, is rooted in fact--based belief (not faith) in the free market. Success is not a hypothetical model created on a computer by a bureaucratic elite. It’s predicated on a perceived need, and seeing if demand embraces what you’re supplying.Over time, their risk taking creates a civilization, an infectious equation that leads to building families, businesses, and nations. Which creates more wealth. And it is that wealth that can then be used to help those in need. You need money to make money, but you also need money to give money.Conservatism makes what liberalism takes. And so when a liberal asks you, “Why are you a conservative?,” simply state, “So you can be a liberal.”So, Why Are You a Conservative?• It beats pretending you care about hypothetical injustice.• It’s the only reliable thing going.• The alternatives exist only at the pleasure of conservatism.• The women put up with your compliments.• When the chips are down, it’s the only ism that works for everyone, liberals included.• The chips are always down, and it’s the conservatives who know it.
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Product details
Hardcover: 240 pages
Publisher: Crown Forum; First Edition edition (October 27, 2015)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1101903627
ISBN-13: 978-1101903629
Product Dimensions:
5.8 x 0.9 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
303 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#53,559 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Don't believe it for a second. Demons *are* real. They possess our family, our friends, and our co-workers—causing them to run around in circles, vomiting irrational talking points (and on social media they vomit a lot!).These demons have many names, but they all serve the same master: Liberalism.In his latest book “How to be Right—The Art of Being Persuasively Correctâ€, Greg Gutfeld teaches you the art of effectively exorcising the Demons of Liberalism (and before I get reported to my university for preaching unsafe thoughts, aka #WrongThink, I am merely using “demon†as a metaphor for “an irrational personâ€â€”inspired by Chapter 18, “Using Metaphors, Simile and other Crapâ€).Believe this, though: it's a great book, and you should buy it because the book shows you how to craft an argument that is both logical AND witty AND compassionate, and thus *more persuasive* than using “logic-onlyâ€. And logic-only is the main reason most conservatives fail when arguing with liberals.They can't hear logic! Remember, they're irrational.So what's the secret to Greg Gutfeld's arguing technique? I'll give one example, then I'll summarize the rest of the book.Let's assume you run into a person possessed with The Gun Control Demon. You know this person. It's the one that tweets angrily about the need for “gun control†any time a shooting occurs and gets reported on cable news.You, being a logical conservative, argue: “It's not guns that kill people, people kill people. We need better screening procedures when people buy guns.†Or you argue: “if you pass laws controlling guns, only the criminals will have guns.â€Here's the thing: You're right. It's a good logical argument. It's just not persuasive.The problem is you forgot that you're arguing with an irrational liberal. And with liberals logic is optional. “Feelings trump fact,†as Greg Gutfeld is fond of pointing out. So your argument won't work because it won't make them feel differently.So, what's the solution? What will work? Greg Gutfeld argues that you extend their argument to it's logical conclusion, which will always be something absurd (remember their beliefs are fundamentally irrational), then highlight the absurdity and out compassion them. To quote him directly: “My simple, perhaps sole tactic has always been to extend liberal beliefs to absurd levels. I push the obvious until the argument can only tip in my favor.†(Page 33)Applying Greg's technique, your real response should have been: “Then YOU'RE misogynist! The criminals will still have guns, and women won't be able to protect themselves because YOU'VE taken their guns away. YOU'VE made it unsafe for women. So, you must want women to die.â€It's brilliant. You've used their own concepts to out compassion them! You've co-opted their grievances (see Chapter 11).So what's the rest of the book like? It's just like the example I gave. Common liberal talking points, followed by Greg showing how to respond in a way that is logical, is witty, is compassionate, and above all is more persuasive than “logic-only†or the talking points from outraged Fox News conservative pundits (don't get me wrong I love Fox News, btw).No, it's not perfect, it could have been “tighterâ€. The material on Red Eye was really good but seemed like humble bragging (although, I now know why Kat Timpf is used as an Ombudsmen on The Greg Gutfeld Show, see Chapter 17). Or his autobiography chapter, which was excellent but somewhat out of place.Still the book is great. I'm shocked that Greg Gutfeld gave away his secrets, all the way down to the paragraph level (see “hot spotsâ€, Chapter 7). Now, he did hold back how he styles his sentences, which I think is a major secret to his great writing, but the theory and most of the detail is all there.In summary, if I put on my professor hat, I would grade this book a solid “A for excellent†(yes I know Greg hates professors, but at least we grade fairly!)I close with one of my favorite truisms from the book: “The world is moving away from fact-based debate and drifting into fact-free rhetoric†(page 1).If you want to effectively exorcise the fact-free rhetorical demons of liberalism, you *must* buy this book.
"How to be Right": I had trouble putting this book down. Gutfeld has a direct, pithy style, full of wise cracks and irony. Highly anecdotal, the book nonetheless is a great guide for managing mindless liberals. It is a lion-taming course for those taming the Left. I recommend it to anyone - especially boring conservatives. That's right: people like us. We need to beat the lobotomized Left with logic, panache, and humor.
A quick, very enjoyable read. Like his other books( I recommend all of them), he educates while entertaining. Very unique and yet "spot-on" perspectives of our nations problems and concerns. Greg is intelligent and witty and like Dennis Miller.....sooooo RIGHT!5-star+Dr. Stanley E. Toompas, Optometrist& Author of, "I'm the One the Other Isn't"
Gutfeld is the clown prince of the Right and very much needed. He turns out tremendously thoughtful political dialogue with a hilarious bent than only Gutfeld can bring to it. We need more people like this to explain politics without droning people into a coma. I've enjoyed all of his books and this one is as good or better than any others.
This is a great book for conservatives. Greg Gutfeld is an excellent writer and conveys a humorous and informative tone in which people can relate to whether they be political nerds or average people.
Really good fast read. Greg Gutfeld will keep you laughing all the way through.I guess the point is that not taking ourselves and the "opposition" so seriously, you might actually win someone over.
The book arrived in great condition, not too expensive. Greg Gutfeld did a well job teaching readers how to deal with the left-winged media who disagrees with everything that you say even if it's true. Because truth hurts. Always keep in mind that if you are not on the same side, it doesn't mean that you have to disagree and discredit everything that the other side has to say. The book also shows you how to win an argument using logic, sense of humor. Gutfeld is a very direct, straight to the point, no bullcrap writer with controversial but hurtful remark to the other wing. How to be right: the art of being persuasively correct surely will grab your attention. This is a must for anyone, especially conservatives and non-liberals in general.
Awesome book! I learned Awesome ways to deal with your typical brainwashed, propaganda regurgitating shleps. Great humor and smash mouth style!
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