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Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology, by Cory O'Brien
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Review
"Blessed with the drinking tolerance of Bacchus and the wisdom of Minerva, O’Brien has compiled some of the best of the best in the realm of sarcastic myth telling with his book Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No Bull-Shit Guide to World Mythology." --Fanboynation.com"I was giggling by the first page and full blown LOLing by the first myth. It’s really that funny. With chapter titles like “Cronus Likes To Eat Babies“, “Abraham Is Totally Cool About Stabbing His Kid in the Face,” and “Odin Gets Construction Discounts with Bestiality,” you can’t help but want to read these retold myths, whether it be from morbid curiosity or a dire need to know what this guy could possibly be getting at with these titles." --Electricfeast.com"O'Brien's writing is gruff, hilarious...but there's no doubt that he's thoroughly researched his topics. His candor likens to a tirade of Liz Lemon's deranged ex-boyfriend, Dennis Duffy of 30 Rock, had his skull contained a well-read brain." --Chicagoist
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About the Author
Cory O’Brien is a word-wizard and technojester of the first degree and the creator of Myths Retold! (BetterMyths.com), as well as the author of Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes and George Washington is Cash Money. He reads and writes mythology, science fiction, and computer code. He has camped with gypsies, juggled for food, and driven across the country in a car powered by vegetable oil. Now he lives in Chicago, where he recently graduated with an MFA in writing from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. Cory's dream is to one day travel to Mars, or at least to own a jacket made entirely of pockets.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: TarcherPerigee; 1 edition (March 5, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 039916040X
ISBN-13: 978-0399160400
Product Dimensions:
4.4 x 0.6 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.7 out of 5 stars
306 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#21,736 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Don't read this book in the bathtub, your roommate will think you are choking on something and she'll burst in and see that you are tearing up and think you have been dumped. It's gonna be really awkward.Definitely read it somewhere else in the house, though. Or on the subway if you don't mint people watching you giggle.
_Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes_ by Cory O’Brien is book of modernized versions of more than 50 myths and legends from around the world.Normally I try to avoid profanity in my book reviews, but when the subtitle of the book is “a no-******* guide to world mythologyâ€, it’s a battle already lost. I'll put in asterisks instead.I really like this book: I opened it to refresh myself on it prior to writing this review and enjoyed it so much I re-read the entire thing. But it is absolutely not a reference book; there is no index and no bibliography and no list of books for suggested further reading._Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes_ is a book that is very honest about human nature. First off, there are the myths and legends themselves. Most myths and legends involve a lot of sex and death and violence and greed and pride and jealousy.Many of the translations we’ll typically read during our school years gloss over a lot of that, but many of the original stories went into a lot more detail. For example, in the Egyptian section O’Brien has a story about Horus depositing some bodily fluids in Set's salad, and that is a pretty decent summary of one version of one of the Egyptian myths — Horus put his seed in Set’s food and when they went before the rest of the gods, Horus was able to call out for his seed and it replied from Set’s stomach, thereby showing that Horus is more powerful than Set. If you read through that last sentence and by the end of it are thinking “Wait, what just happened there? This was an actual myth they wrote down and retold???â€, that seems to be where O’Brien started writing this book.O’Brien is honest that he has inserted some non-canonical details in many of the myths, such as the disco ball used in “The Moon Is Made of Meat†which retells the Native American story of how the moon is a rabbit. However, storytellers of the past often changed around their stories too, which is why many myths exist in multiple versions. The formal tone and proper English used in many books of myths and legends is likely not as formal and proper as the myths were originally told or as the audiences originally understood them. O’Brien has put them back in more colloquial language with slang terms of the modern time (God help the scholar who runs into this book a couple hundred years from now and starts trying to figure out what is meant when O’Brien says Sekhmet was the original Thundercat, or the Norse gods are totally metal).For all that, O’Brien’s interpretations seem to be broadly faithful to other versions of the same myths I’ve read in more formal and proper settings. The same participants get in bad together, doublecross the same people, an equal number of participants get killed or are sentenced to eternities in torment or whatever, and the same strange leaps of logic lead to many of the same consequences for all involved. Yes, Thor really did dress as a woman one time to get his hammer Mjolnir back from a giant who had stolen it and was going to keep it unless he got to marry Freyja.So, it’s a very humorous book. The line lengths are uneven and sometimes words or phrases will be written in ALL CAPS, and while it looks disjointed it worked fairly well as I was reading it and added a subtle cadence to the stories.O’Brien also sometimes summarizes the myths, and sometimes points out some very painful and human truths. For instance, here are the end few lines from “Hephaestus Gets ****** Around a Lot†from the Greek section, where Hephaestus has caught his wife Aphrodite having an affair with Ares and Hephaestus invites all the other Greek gods and goddesses to watch and catch Aphrodite and Ares in the act:“and Poseidon pokes Zeus and says ‘Would you tap that?’and Zeus says ‘Probably I already have.’(I am not making that up.That **** is in _The Odyssey_)But really the joke is still on Hephaestusbecause his wife is boning another man right in front of himand even the best blacksmith cannot repair a broken relationship.â€But most of the book is like these lines mid-way through “Gilgamesh and Enkidu: Ultimate Bromance†in the Sumerian section:“and Enkidu shows up like ‘Dudewhat the **** are you doing?WANNA BEAT THE **** OUT OF EACH OTHER INSTEAD?’And Gilgamesh is like ‘YESSSS.’so they punch at each otheruntil they get tired of gargling their own teethand then decide to be BFFs.I am not a scientist but this may be why women live longer than men.â€So, loved the book, but no index or bibliography or suggested reading in a nonfiction book, so I’m still going to give it four stars. And then probably look to see if O’Brien has written anything else, because if he has I might buy it.Also, Sarah Melville’s illustrations are awesome. They look like traditional artwork that a high school boy idly doodled on and represent the contents of the book very well.
A very fun read! I'm way into myths and legends, and this book contained a great sampling from many cultures and areas of the world. I learned some new ones, and the ones I already knew were hilariously perfect in his delivery. I used this as a "bathroom reader", and each section is a perfect length for "business".O'Brien's writing is witty, funny, and his research into the subject is complete. This isn't your dry college textbook, but you will learn more with this than you would from that text, and at a fraction of the price!If you have a teen or young (or old) adult who enjoys or needs to learn the gist of world myths, I recommend this ribald telling of world myths."Folk tales and myths, they've lasted for a reason. We tell them over and over because we keep finding truths in them, and we keep finding life in them." - Patrick Ness
No really, this is the most epic of books I've ever read. I laughed myself into an asthma attack it was so awesome. It puts a new perspective on a great subject and gives these myths an edgier more modern spin. Plus, the lessons learned at the end of each myth is priceless. I highly recommend this to anyone with a sense of humor and a passion for mythology.
I was familiar with at least half of these myths, so I can verify that he isn't bulls***ting. As each tale-teller puts their own spin on the story Cory O'Brien has a 3 drinks in style that frames the stories around more contemporary views and language. I read about 70 pages outloud to a friend and couldn't stop laughing.This would have made some of my old classes subject matter much more entertaining.
I can't even. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 I swear, if you got Ryan Reynolds doing Deadpool to narrate this for Audible, J. K. Rowling would be dethroned in the beloved author verse. Stop making me laugh so hard, do you know what too much laughter for a menopausal women DOES? This should come with an Amazon "Customer's also bought this" suggestion. "Depends, you're legit gonna need them, trust us on this one." This is hands down my new favorite book of all time. I've been pimping it to my friends and family nonstop today as I read this. 😂😂🤣🤣🤣✌ï¸ðŸ˜ŽâœŒï¸â¤ï¸
A friend of mine had this book at his apartment, and I picked it up while exploring his belongings that were within arms reach, as one is apt to do when the host is in the kitchen or bathroom. I read maybe 5 lines of one story and immediately knew I had to have this book. I was laughing (out loud) so much, that my friend returned, saw what I was looking at, and also started laughing. We basically sat there, me reading chapters of the book out loud and then both of us laughing loudly, for about 30 minutes. Now that I have my own copy, I leave this book on my coffee table, and when I have company over, I read them a story. It usually results in some weird looks at first, but it also causes intense laughter (and definitely sets a tone for a visit). Not only is the writing super entertaining, it's also a very handy resource for world mythology! You know. If you decipher the super entertaining text.I think I enjoy this book so much because it's written in a way that I think/write. Basically, I want to be best friends with the author, Cory O'Brien. (As far as I'm concerned, we are already best friends, he just doesn't know it yet.)
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